So, I was messaging this guy who, it turns out, works with a friend of mine. He described my friend as "the office Papa Bear and we all respect him as such."
I couldn't let that one go, so I messaged back: "Do you call him that because of his big, bushy beard, or because his bed is too hard? If it's the second one, I'd really like to hear how you know that."
He didn't ever write me back.
Come on, people. If you can't joke about incest or two straight guys fucking, what can you joke about?
I choose to believe that he just wasn't that into my looks or found someone else he liked better, because that quip was gold, baby. GOLD!