Savia: They are going to tell you you're fat and make fun of you, so be prepared.
Bro: But I'm not even that heavy. I mean, I could lose a couple, but...
Savia: You'll understand when you see them. They're all slim and short and very body conscious there. So, don't be offended when they say stuff.
Bro: What else?
Savia: Eat slowly. Like waaaaaay more slowly than you usually do. Because lunch is going to take two hours.
Bro: I don't think I can deal with that.
Savia: Well, you're going to have to. You eat, you talk, you drink some wine, you digest, you laugh, you eat some more, you drink some more wine, you talk some more.
Bro: Okay. What else?
Savia: Watch Cultura Moderna!!
Yes, rather than advising my brother to see the ruins of Pompeii or the fountains at Tivoli, I told him to watch Italian television. But if anyone out there has seen Cultura Moderna, you will understand.
Bro: So, what's this TV show about?
Savia: Fuck if I know, but it's awesome.
At this point, I must turn to my travel diary for a better description of the show, because it's far too complicated to describe off the top of my head. Here's what I wrote back in 2007:
They have a lot of the same shows we do, just a year behind and dubbed in Italian. Then, there are the bad Italian game shows, almost all of which are "guess who the mystery person is" type shows, featuring women dancing around in gold bikinis (and by "dancing around," I mean writhing around on the floor) for no reason.
My favourite is Cultura Moderna, literally "Modern Culture."
The cast of Cultura Moderna:Two hot thangs and two freakish things.
Sexy chicks in tiny pieces of fabric:
the Italian game show formula for success.
This giant mascot freak thing looks like Barney, only red and wearing a shirt with a loud tropical print on it. Every once in awhile, he comes out and says some stuff, but I haven't been able to figure out what his purpose is at all.
Babbibo the New Orleans party dino.He has a larger wardrobe than I do.
Then, a giant screen displays a number from one to three and everyone cheers. This is the number of yes/no questions the contestant may ask about the mystery guest before guessing the identity.
An example of a "talent."
See, I wasn't kidding about the slide and the voodoo chant.
See, I wasn't kidding about the slide and the voodoo chant.
After everyone guesses the mystery guest incorrectly, it is time for the final round, which differs from show to show.
In this one, the finalist had to stand in a castle while the dancing girls in bikinis each held a giant watermelon. The host reaches into one of the watermelons, which were hinged, and pulls out a stuffed Sylvester the cat. I guess this is some kind of a clue about the identity of the mystery guest. Though it clearly doesn't help the contestant figure anything out. Me either.
The finalist dude makes his final wrong guess on who he thinks the mystery person is, and then there is this huge puff of smoke and the guest comes out of the cabana/shack/shed or whatever it is that he has been staying in throughout the show.
We finally discover his identity! It's...some old Italian dude I've never heard of. And then everyone dances with the bikini girls.
See?
Because everyone needs a dance break when they lose a chance at 500,000 Euros.
The whole time I was in Italy, I never saw anyone win this show. On the plus side, they do offer a home version of the game.
I wonder what's in there? A thong and a hand puppet?
10 comments:
that show sounds...awesome?? question mark??
That sounds an awful lot like the South American television I saw in Costa Rica. Every show seemed to have half naked chicks dancing around.
Nothing better to expect from a country where the president is a fascist that controlls TV chains
Savia, your unintentionally cheap shots at Italian society have prompted even cheaper shots from others who know less. To them I would point out that the difference between Mediterranean cultures and North America is that there isn't the fissure of hypocrisy keeping the prurient out of public view. Trashy shows here have to pretend not to be about sex.
Cec,
I agree that Italy has it all out in the open, kind of like the 50s-inspired show Mad Men, and our society is in the closet about sex.
However, my issue with it is the blatant sexual exploitation and harassment of the women on the show. The host does things like pretend to grab their breasts and makes comments about their bodies, etc. And this is accepted.
I found this attitude to be prevalent in Italian society as well. Women are ogled and harassed on the streets. If that happened here, I would tell the dude off, in no uncertain terms.
When I was younger and spent six weeks in Italy, I went in with my usual attitude. By the end of my time there, however, I had become just as passive as the Italian women when I was being harassed and groped by Italian men.
It was as though the culture had beaten me down and affected my self-esteem and ability to stand up for myself.
Because the behaviour was culturally acceptable, and women were treated as less-than, I internalized that, withdrew into myself, and took what I was given.
So, I wouldn't classify my comments as cheap shots. What we see in the media as "normal" affects our attitudes and behaviour as we make our way through our everyday life.
And that's not to say that we don't have the same sort of thing in our society with music videos, etc.
Also, if it were just about being out in the open about sex, where are the gyrating cabana boys in Speedos?
Good point about cabaña boys and Speedos.
Don't get me wrong. I agree with you that this is trashy, low brow, prole TV, etc. I was just pointing out that there is trash in North America, too. It's just not of an avowedly sexual nature; at most there's titillation.
Not sure I'm with you on Italian street manners. No question that to a North American woman the behavior feels abusive. But is that the Italian read? I'm not sure.
Did Italian culture had beat you down and affect your self-esteem and ability to stand up for yourself or did your preconceptions about what behavior is acceptable (which is cultural) do that?
This is not to say that traditional Italian society has not been patriarchal (although the paterfamilias steered clear of the matriarchy of the rolling pin).
My only point is that transcultural judgments are, first and foremost, biases.
Funny post. Thanks. Sorry for the hubbub.
My hot Italian cousins didn't appreciate being ogled and groped either. I think to them, its seen more as an annoyance, whereas I was more offended and threatened by it. So, yes, a difference between our reactions was culturally based. But it was a slight difference. Unwanted male attention is unwanted male attention, regardless of culture.
I don't think my reaction about being "beaten down" was due to my preconceived notions about what was acceptable. I went into that trip not knowing anything about Italian culture and expecting that it had changed since the olden days. Because of the way I was treated by men and the way other women responded to the way they were treated, it changed the way I responded as well.
Also, I will note that in my most recent trip, I noticed that the younger generation of Italian men were much more liberal and respectful of women and their personal space. But the older generation still behaved the way I had remembered from my previous trip.
When I still lived in NY, I worked with a lot of 1st and 2nd generation Italians who still had many relatives in Italy. One summer a family sent their 10 yr old son to NY to stay wih a co-worker (his aunt). When the parents picked him up off the plane back in Milan they were horrified that their cut little son had been returned to them a fat chub-a-lub from eating ice-cream and pizza all summer in NY. I doubt the kid was really that porky, but to thier standards they certainly thought so.
I have spent some time in Italy. I found that the farther south I went, (geographically) the more times my boobs and ass got grabbed. I had a tour guide at one point in Pompeii, and he was explaining to me about the "virility" of Italian men and not to be offended by it. We were walking down a street at the time that had penis carvings everywhere and I remember feeling like I was in the twiilght zone. I have studied Latin and Roman culture for many years, and I can't speak for the rest of European culture because I have not studied that, but the Romans at least were incredibly open and up front about sex and sexuality, and so perhpas some of that has carried into modern day.
Sounds a little like Sabado Gigante, which I will watch if there's nothing better on Saturday night.
Game shows are weird.
Hope your brother has a great time in Italy, though.
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