Lashluscioustastic

[Note: This review is completely unsolicited. I have not been asked to review this product, nor am I receiving any compensation for doing so.]

I have few vices in my life, but those I have, I am quite committed to. Three currently at the forefront are: shopping on the Internet while suffering from insomnia, buying things because they're a good deal and/or eco-friendly, and being incredibly vain.

And sometimes, when the stars align just right, all of those vices come together to make me an overtired, semi-broke, but sexy woman (though I am always overtired, semi-broke and sexy, in case you were wondering.)

A few weeks ago, I couldn't sleep, so I was going through some posts on an eco-beauty blog and found a review of LashMantra, an all-natural product that claims it will help you grow longer, darker eyelashes. I was skeptical at first, but then I read several other reviews from beauty bloggers who said it worked for them - and one even had before and after photos. Once I saw those, I was sold. Sure, it doesn't take much to sell me on things at 4 a.m., but it seemed legit and I was interested to see what it would do for me. Not that I need it, as my lashes are fine, but did you read the part above about me being "incredibly vain"?

For the record, I ordered this product before the TV lit up with commercials featuring Brooke Shields and her "inadequate lashes." I don't really watch commercials, but I forwarded through it via digital recorder, so I'm pretty sure it went something like this:

Oh, boo hoo, I'm Brooke Shields, all famous and beautiful and rich, but I am sooooo inadequate in the lashes department and this makes me feel way worse than post-partum depression ever did and even though I apologized to Tom Cruise for talking about using antidepressants, I am now advocating a pharmaceutical to grow lashes and it's not a psych med so Tom will approve, but then again, maybe it is a psych med because we all know the horrific low self-esteem caused by "inadequate lashes" could make any of us fall into that deep abyss, in which case, Tom probably wouldn't approve because he thinks we should all take vitamins instead. But whatever. So, anyway, it's all medical and shit because there's this technical name for inadequate lashes: hypotrichosis. Doesn't it sound all scary and stuff, like some kind of food poisoning or leprosy? Which I totally swear you won't get from this eyelash drug, though it's quite possible it will make your blue eyes brown. But who cares, because aren't my lashes pretty?

Seriously, can you imagine going to your doctor, who has probably just told some 20-year-old that s/he's dying of cancer, and saying, "zOMG, my inadequate lashes are ruining my life! I need a prescription, stat! Please, doc, [sob], please don't let me end up like poor Brooke!"

Yeah, I don't think so.

But as a cosmetic, natural product that won't make your eyes grow out of other parts of your body or turn into brown ooze or whatever, I can live with that.

This is what arrived in the mail:

The bottle is full of cold-pressed oils, the plastic tube holds an eyeliner brush for application and the bag is just pretty.

I began using the product as directed, brushing the oil on my lash line every night. After two weeks, it seemed my lashes were a bit longer, though I couldn't tell for sure.

This week, I started feeling a bit disoriented. I would think I saw something out of the corner of my eye, but when I looked, it would be gone. My vision became blurry when I looked down at my books. I began wondering if I needed to start taking antipsychotics and get a new eyeglass prescription, when it dawned on me. What I'm seeing out of the corner of my eye is not an extra cat running around my house: it's my eyelashes. And that thing obscuring my reading? Yup. Those would be my eyelashes, too.

It actually worked! I'm not getting older, blinder, or more crazy AND I have pretty eyelashes! Woo hoo!

Take that, Brooke! (Along with some antidepressants to prevent you from needing to take some potentially dangerous prescription lash growth product to overcome your fear of "inadequate lashes." Come to think of it, maybe some therapy, too. Your therapist probably won't mock you for your obsession with "inadequate lashes." Probably. Well, not too much, anyway.)

Update: Until September 30, Saviabella readers will receive a $3 discount on their LashMantra orders. Just use the discount code "saviabella" upon checkout.