I mean, I've had the presents tucked away for awhile now, I'm arranging a birthday supper with Schmutzie and Palinode and I am going to make Bipolar Lawyer Cook's amazing chocolate truffles for his family's celebration tomorrow night. (Shhh. Don't tell!) But I wanted to do more than that. I wanted to do something really special. Something that would let him know just how much he means to me.
So, I wrote this list.
32 Reasons Why I Heart Superstar
- While I'm downstairs getting ready for the night, he lies on my side of the bed so that it will be nice and warm when I crawl in.
- He is so sweet to my dog and calls her his "little love rat" in a ridiculous voice every time he sees her. She loves him. Come to think of it, all animals do.
- When we go into stores, he chats and jokes around with the clerks, and when we leave restaurants, he says, "Thanks for the hospitality!" to the servers on our way out.
- He learned to knit so he could make me a Christmas stocking. He wasn't able to complete it this year, but the part he did finish was very well done.
- He has the softest, sweetest lips. And he knows how to use them.
- He is a music junkie and can't go into a music store without spending $100 on CDs. He has more than 700 in his collection. He has introduced me to all kinds of artists I would never have known otherwise. I can't wait to go to concerts with him.
- He is the most open-minded and non-judgemental person I've met. He accepts and loves me for who I am, neuroses and all. I never have to pretend with him. He even continues to hang out with me after I do things like this in public:Those are Pop Rocks on my tongue, in case anyone is wondering.Also, that's a wig. I'd never have bangs that short, FYI.
I may be shameless, but I still have standards.
- He loves back scratches just as much as blow jobs. In fact, slightly more.
- When I'm drifting off to sleep he'll say, "You know what?" I'll respond, "What?" Then he'll say, "I love you, you know." Last night, while he was drifting off to sleep, I said, "You know what?" "What?" he responded. "I love you exactly for who you are," I said. "Really?" he said, "Because I love you for who I want you to be." God, he makes me laugh so hard.
- He is over-the-top, fearless, shameless, and will do anything for a laugh. At the end of his niece's elementary school Christmas concert, he jumped out of his seat and started shouting (and I mean shouting) "Bravo! Bravo! Come on people, let's give them a standing ovation!!" He was the only one standing and shouting in the school gym at 1:30 in the afternoon. After awhile, though, a lady across the aisle stood up to join in his ovation. I tried to pretend I didn't know him but secretly admired his enthusiasm.
- He moved from what is probably the most beautiful place in Canada to cold, windy Saskatchewan so we could finally be together.
- He is everyone's favourite uncle and is wonderful with kids. He is one of those people who never lost their inner child. He'll make an incredible dad someday. He makes my uterus tick.
- He is the definition of a Renaissance Man. I don't think there's anything he can't do.
- When my jaw was wired shut, he would show up on my doorstep with chai lattes, hot chocolate and lots of big, warm hugs. I love the way I fit into his arms.
- No matter what he tries to sing, it always comes out sounding like a lounge song.
- He is this walking contradiction. A big, burly 6'4" man who is also sweet and sensitive. Manly and childlike. Strong and artsy. Intense and irreverent. He's an outdoorsy "society is the devil" kind of hippie who is also hooked on Starbucks...wait for it...Grande Non-Fat No Whip Half-Sweet White Mochas. It makes me giggle each time he orders it. And roll my eyes when I he sends me on a coffee run and I have to order it on his behalf.
- The first phone message he ever left me made me cry because it was so sweet and sincere.
- He has no ass. It's kind of cute, really.
- He is very close with his family, who are some of the most kind, interesting, loving, wonderful people I have ever met.
- He always obliges when I ask him for a massage or back rub.
- He's a great sport. He let me give him a facial even though I suck at it.
- When he goes to the store and is given change, he tosses his pennies on the ground at random intervals as he walks down the street. "I'm giving other people good luck!" he says.
- I asked him to eat a bug once and he actually did. I was thrilled. Then he complained about the sour cream and onion seasoning on the bug. He thought it was disgusting. But the bug itself, apparently, was fine.
- He has an impeccable memory and never has to write anything down. He is also very observant, noticing the little details I always miss.
- He actively looks for the beauty in the world around him.
- He looks like a different person in every picture he's in. Sometimes, it's hard for me to remember what he looks like. Then, when I see him again, my legs turn to jelly.
- Best. Sex. Ever.
- After any meal, no matter where we are, he gets up, clears the table, and does all the dishes, before anyone asks for help. The woman running the bed and breakfast we stayed at on our second date had no idea what to do with him.
- He has sexy legs.
- I never thought I would be able to say that a penis is beautiful. But his is. [Unfortunately, photo unavailable.]
- Every day with him is an adventure. It never gets dull, because he's constantly surprising me and challenging me to grow as a person.
- I've never met anyone like him before, and I don't think I ever will again. I have never laughed or loved so hard. I feel honoured to have him in my life.
It was hard to whittle this list down to a mere 32 reasons why I adore this man. There are so many more, from the little daily things that make me beam to the big things that make him a person of integrity, unconditional love and all around sexy hotness.
Happy Birthday, Superstar. I hope our next year together will be even more amazing than the last.I love you.