I have call display, which may be the best invention ever (aside from the Rock Chick, of course). If it's a 1-800 number or some long-distance number I don't know, I don't answer and am thus spared having to reject some underpaid telemarketer's spiel. I hate rejecting people. It seems so mean. But that doesn't mean I'm going to donate to the police department, get my non-existent carpet cleaned, or buy a bunch of lousy magazines because you guilt me into it.
The problem with avoiding telemarketing calls is that they just keep calling back. For months, I've been getting calls from a particular number at all times of the day and night, several times a day, everyday. Whoever these people were, they were stalking me and were not going to give up.
Yesterday, I figured that if I finally picked up the phone and told them I wasn't interested, they would stop fucking calling already.
So, I did. And it was the Doubledumb Book Club. Again. Now, you'd think they'd have gotten the hint in March when I told them this to get rid of them. However, they're more tenacious than I had thought.
Telemarketer: Hi! It's the Doubledumb Book Club calling and we have some great news for you, blah, blah, blah...
Savia: Let me stop you right there. I don't read popular fiction and there is nothing that you carry that I would be interested in.
Telemarketer: Well, you're in luck, because we also have a Mystery Club! Do you enjoy mystery?
Savia: No, I don't. Really, there's nothing that you have that will appeal to me.
Telemarketer: We also have a Children's Book Club!
Savia: [twitching a little] Yeah, I don't think so.
Telemarketer: And there's also our Christian Book Club?
Savia: Oh, dear God, no! [feeling a tad bit guilty about taking the Lord's name in vain in reference to a Christian Book Club, and then wishing a little that she had tossed "motherfucking" in there for good measure.]
Telemarketer: Oh...okay then.
I should have told them to take me off their list but I was too busy twitching about the creepy book clubs. Maybe they should just combine the three and have the Children's Christian Mystery Book Club? They could have kids figure out who really killed Jesus or something.
But yeah, you know that in another six months, I'm going to have to come up with something else to fend them off. Any ideas?
And to put a cherry on the cheesecake, as I was about to post this entry, the phone rang and it was another 1-800 number. Grrrrr.