Ever since I got braces about six months ago, I've noticed the multitude of people walking around with those metal things strapped to their teeth. They're everywhere! It's kind of like when you buy a new car, let's say it's a silver Toyota, and then you notice that it seems like everyone drives a silver Toyota nowadays.
When I see people with braces, I feel a special bond with them - like we are sharing this experience together. I am compelled to go up to them and start a conversation. But this is me, so I can't start a conversation like a normal person. It goes a little something like this...
A restaurant. Savia is out for supper with Musically Speaking and K.
Manager: Stops at table. I understand that you requested to speak to a manager.
Savia: No, but... [Noticing his braces] Hey! Braces buddy! High five! [forces manager to high five her]
We then got into an in-depth conversation about braces and jaw surgery, while the people at the table next to us, who had actually asked to speak to a manager, glared at us impatiently.
This amused Musically Speaking to no end, because she has seen me use "Braces buddy! High five!" as an opening line on more than one occasion. The last time was at her brother's wedding, when I spent the night chatting up her 15-year-old cousin. The line worked so well that I actually have a picture of him sitting on my lap. We make a cute couple. (What can I say? I like them young. Less baggage.) Part of our conversation that night went like this:
Savia: [Thinking that because he's 15, he's all innocent and hasn't kissed a girl yet] A lot of people think braces makes kissing difficult, but it doesn't at all, you know.
Braces Buddy: Oh, I know. I've kissed other people with braces, too.
Savia: Really. Have you kissed other people when you've both had braces?
Braces Buddy: Yup.
Savia: What was that like?
Braces Buddy: The same, but with more texture.
So, friendternets, here's the deal. Schmutzie has been working on a new template for me and when she gets it done, I'm going to need a new tagline to go with it. How about: Saviabella...now with more texture or, alternatively, Saviaballa...ribbed for your pleasure.
Hell, you're the ones reading this puppy, and you're pretty darn creative at that. I'm curious to know what you'll come up with - drop a tagline in the comments for me.
4 comments:
How about: "Nothing rhymes better than Saviabella"
"Saviabella isn't short"
(I should probably preface this by saying just recently I went to a writing workshop where a fellow who writes incredible marketing stuff was saying that the way to get people's attention is to say something completely out of left field, and then they'll want to stick around and try to figure out what the hell you're talking about, and I thought, 'Oh Good. Finally a use for that skill')
"...in the beginning was the Word and the Word was Saviabella"
"even if you can't drive, you can Saviabella"
"Saviabella - mushrooms extra"
"What news, Saviabella?"
Okay, stop me now.
Maybe one more.
"dream of Saviabella come coursing through the text"
"Saviabella and the Ten Toes of Justice"
"Bond and Stammer: A Nightingale's Tale - or, Saviabella"
I'm here all week, folks.
I had something to say, but then cenobyte was so spot on.
Sad strange nights with Saviabella.
For a beaker of the warm South, call Saviabella.
Saviabella's one heckuva pair of ragged claws scuttling across the floors of silent seas! or Saviabella: Daring to Eat a Peach since 2004.
Savvy navvies slaver over Saviabella.
Saviabella is one helluva savia, bella?
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